So randomly I decided to look at my website tonight (mind you, it’s 3 AM while I’m writing this) and realized its almost been A WHOLE YEAR since I wrote/posted anything on here. Honestly, wild. I’ve still been writing, and vlogging, and tiktoking, and all of that fun creative stuff. But writing to me will…
Tag: destructive
ok so december 2018 was the worst month of my life
I write about everything personal I go through, for some reason I just feel like it helps me to process it and deal with it in a way. A year ago I overdosed twice and ended up in the hospital, and I wrote a lot of poetry during that time of my life. Here are…
appearances mean shit
Okay so I was just editing / uploading a vlog I made earlier today on my basic everyday makeup routine when I realized A) it takes so long to export a vlog from imovie to theater on an apple comuter and B) I haven’t really made a vlog in a while. So I was rewatching…
butterfly effect
I was running late on my way to work (cause what else is new) and I forgot my cell phone at home. I turned around, drove home to get it, and skipped getting my usual iced coffee so I would still be on time for work. Later that day I saw on the news there…
i wanted to wake up
The morning after I killed myself, my daughter woke up crying, alone in a bed that she’d spent every night of her life in with me. She didn’t understand why her mama wasn’t laying next to her. She cried and cried until someone heard. The morning after I killed myself, my mom found my body,…
you loved me sick
you loved me, but not in a way that was good for me. your fingers traced my bones excitedly, the same way mine did when i was alone. being with you made me want to be less of everything— less clingy, less worried, less of me. love should make you want to grow, not shrink….
this november
November has always been a difficult month for me. It means the holidays that have kinda made me nervous and freaked out are coming up (and soon). It means being cold constantly. It means feeling lonely and depressed (thanks Seasonal Affective Disorder) and a little lost. November has always made me want to hide away…
how to help someone you love that has an eating disorder
If you’ve never suffered from an eating disorder it can be hard to know how to help someone that you love that has one, or is in recovery from one. Sometimes, the things you say and the way you act towards them can make a huge difference. Don’t talk about what they’re eating/not eating. You…
the most deadly addiction is yours
Not all addictions kill you, and not all send you to rehab, either. Sometimes you can live with an addiction for your entire life, if you’re good at keeping it hidden away where no on else can notice it. These dormant addictions are still dangerous, even if they are undetectable. They can suddenly spiral out…
changing perspectives
Exactly one year ago I was getting on a plane to go to Florida for the weekend, and today I am currently on a plane flying home. It’s so crazy to think about life this way; a year and everything is so different, yet so much the same. The world looks so tiny from up…
the importance of healthy environments
My mind has always been a garden, filled with flowers, weeds and sometimes thorns. I think that’s part of the reason I write (there are many reasons I write, some that I know about, and many more that I don’t), because there are just so many different kind of thoughts popping up in my brain…
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